


Oh, the Humanity

by Numisma (InTheTatras)



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Crack, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-27
Updated: 2006-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-07 23:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4281474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheTatras/pseuds/Numisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naraku completes the jewel, and the shiznat hits the fan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, the Humanity

Naraku dreams of world domination where there are black poison skies and corrupted souls and everyone is under his command. It's a rather stereotypical dream for a Villain Who Just Won't Die, for an elusive bastard cloaked in miasma and a thousand (or more) puppet strings, but as far as stereotypes go, he just doesn't give a shit.

So when he finally completes the Shikon Jewel, its pink purity transgressing into a poisonous purple and glowing with power, he expects his wish granted.

He certainly doesn't expect the end of the world. It just... explodes, somehow. Fancy that. _Oops_.

But even less, he doesn't expect being jailed in the afterlife (because when it's the end of the world you die too). How that happened, he still doesn't know. He just is. 

"Court adjourned. We find the defendent guilty on all accounts for crimes against honor-"

"You attacked Kikyou while in my form, you fucking bastard! I'ma kutchoo!"

"...humanity..."

"He killed thousands of humans and commanded hordes of demons!"

"...er, demonicity..."

"He was never a real demon in the first place! His heart was human, making him only a half-demon! Ha!"

"...the female sex..."

"You're a man and you had offspring by yourself?! Ewwwwww!"

"...the dead..."

"Okay, HOW MANY TIMES did Kikyou die because of you? Five? Nine? Fifty-seven? Let the dead rest in PEACE! Peace, muthafucka!"

"...and the fashion police."

"Don't you know that tentacles are out of season, baboon fur was so 1968, and thongs did not even exist in the Warring States Era? What did you do, steal them from Kagome's backpack while she wasn't looking?"

Naraku gives a loafy, disgruntled sigh, rolling his eyes, threatening to fart miasma at anyone who looks at him the wrong way. "This court is fixed, I tell you. Fixed like wrestling!"


End file.
